What is it about the new year that makes us want to make all these promises that we then have to spend 365 days fulfilling, doing things we don't want to do and acting in ways we don't want to act?
If there is anything I have learned having to WILL myself at times to survive and be happy about it, making unrealistic goals and/or promises to myself will only ensure I feel terrible about who I am and what I'm doing.
2020 took a massive dump on all of us, let's not compound insult with injury by committing to some bullshit promises in 2021. Let's talk realistically about who we are and what we are capable of so that when we fulfill our goals (no matter how big or small) we feel good!
Here are some tips:
Start Small - I like to make my daily task list with a couple of super easy items like "tidy up desk" or "work with charcoal mask on" so that I know at least two to three items for that day will get checked off. I look at "goals" and "resolutions" the same way. Making EVERY SINGLE ONE a massive challenge will only ensure that you are going to overwhelm yourself. Think of some easy little changes or even tasks that you can weave in to your life or routine in 2021 that you KNOW you will accomplish. It feels good to set out to do something and KNOW you will do it!
List Your Joys + Strong Points - Having a hard time coming up with some resolutions or goals? Listing the things that you ALREADY do that bring you joy and ways you ALREADY accomplish goals or tasks will start this process on a positive note. Starting your goal setting with ways that you already succeed will help you feel confident in your ability to set and achieve new goals. For example; I love to get up relatively early and knock out at least one item on my task list before I wake my kids up. I know I can do that and it brings me great joy to feel accomplished before I get them start for their day. My strong point is my self motivation and I feel joy when I accomplish what I set out to do!
List Your Pain Points - Figuring out how you get in your own way is important to setting realistic goals. For example; I struggle with waking up super early and I am not someone who can commit to workout goals on my own, I know that if I have someone holding me accountable I will commit to and accomplish the fitness and health goals that I have. My pain point is my lack of self-discipline.
Answers to Pain Points - After you have made a list of your joys, strong points, and pain points, look at your strong points and analyze how those strengths can help you over come some of your pain points and how you can turn a pain point in to a strong point that would ultimately bring you joy.
Set Quarterly Goals - Once you have performed this self analysis start with 3 goals for the first quarter (January - March of 2021) and analyze parts of the goal that may be painful and what actions you can take to accomplish that goal. Goal setting shouldn't be an annual thing, it should really be a quarterly thing.
Be realistic with yourself. You are the expert on YOU! Don't overwhelm yourself with insane goals and resolutions that will fizzle out in 3 weeks. Be kind to yourself and realize that this year has been nothing but wild ride after wild ride. If your goal for the first quarter of 2021 is "Get Through the Day" then let that be your goal so by March 31st 2021 you can say you accomplished your first quarter goal of getting through each day.
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Here's to a better 2021 for us all!